Sometimes it is really hard to make changes and pay attention to the inner critic and fight back to it when necessary, and sometimes you just have to face it and realize you totally dropped the ball for a while.
Sometimes you realize you were just a total asshole to someone who didn't deserve it.
Sometimes you were trying your best to apply all the great spiritual lessons you'd been learning, and still things went horribly awry.
At these moments -- and, let's be honest, probably every moment when you realize you've f'ed up in some way -- when you notice the self-berating kicking in, it can be really helpful to use some variation of this wonderful little phrase:
Yeah, if I were human, I might fuck things up sometimes.
Yeah, if I were human, I might occasionally hurt someone else's feelings, and have to apologize.
If I were human, I might not live up to the expectations of perfection that I sometimes hold.
It's a lovely way to just lay off beating yourself up about it. You can forgive your imperfection -- even embrace it, or at the very least acknowledge it. You may have to take more steps -- make an apology, clean up a mess, work more diligently next time. But at least admitting your humanity takes you off the hook of being perfect. And saying it this way, "if I were human," -- how can you help but laugh?
And that's a huge key in any self-improvement or relationship-improvement endeavor: a sense of humor. Be able to laugh at yourself. Embrace the humility of fucking up and admitting it without taking it to the extreme that you are a worthless worm. You're just human. Wonderfully, fantastically, and flawed human.